Returning to work

I'm returning to work on Monday. I have no feelings pertaining to it.
Whatever comes, I'll adjust.
I'll just make myself happy Every Day.

Kiki baby is doing fine, though ocassionally there'll be some crying spells in the middle of the night. My maid pulled the cord to the musical box at 3 in the morning, the noise was piercing. I told her not to do that again as it will disturb the neighbours. I also told her not to do that if I'm sleeping, cos I'm a light sleeper. Ever since becoming a mom, I spring up from bed at any odd hours when I hear my baby cry. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6am, get the picture. I now understand why my colleagues yawn in the middle of the day. I sure hope I won't do that. I dislike people yawning out of the blue. I think that if you yawn in the middle of a conversation you're being very rude. And I am disgusted when I walk into a store and the sales person yawns. The only person who yawns and I find it adorable is that of my baby. (well, well, well) She was born yawning and she yawns pretty much. Everyone who sees it will tell me she's sleepy, which is not always the case. I guess she just needs more oxygen for her brain that's all. I have yet to bring Kiki to my office though I think it will be nice. Well, let's hope it will happen tomorrow. I've been cooking quite a bit lately but it is no big deal, cos all the fancy dishes comes with pre-mixed sauces in a sachet. That is like cheating in a test so I don't take credit for it. I think I should lighten up cos all I do is being hard on myself. I don't know why I'm like this and I hope I can be kinder to myself like I'm kind to others. I thought of visiting ION - the new shopping place at the heart of Orchard but I will feel guilty if I spend time away from my baby, more so now that I'm left with just a few days of leave. I read in a magazine that there's a thing called "working mother's guilt" and it says we ought to overcome it. A happy mother will bring about a happy child, so please throw the guilt out of the windows. I hope you will get used to me writing in this style, probably with lesser and lesser pictures while I just rattle off whatever's on my mind. I went to "swim" in the sea this afternoon and am glad that I've got a tan. But the legs can do with more tanning while the arms can take a break. It is not easy to work a tan if you're not lying flat on the ground. Nobody does that at East Coast, not on a weekday at least, hence I'm too conscious to the attention if I do. Nowadays, on a weekday, be prepared to have China nationals men checking you out if you're swimming at the beach. They are more blatant than the locals. If I were a lot slimmer I probably wouldn't care two hoots. Oh but thanks to them the beach is clean. I see China men picking up rubbish along the coast in the morning. They are probably cleaning contractors. Our Singapore is so clean because we've got people sweeping the roads, the parks, the estates. We've got foreign contractors prunning the trees and planting wild flowers on road dividers. Once I saw a man counting and recording the numbers of flowers that were freshly planted. They probably get paid by the clusters. So much so for a green city, it's systematic and robotic. But oh no don't get me wrong, I do like the trees. We've got so many giant ones around, feels good. The fake-feels are the flowers. My maid has a cynical sense of humour. The boy's balloon burst while he was at the playground and she said "bomb Jakarta, bomb!" what kind of joke is that. As you can see, I can go on forever but your eyes need rest. Goodnight.